Five on Friday
It’s Friday again! I hope this week has found you enjoying a slower summer pace, even in the midst of normal everyday tasks, and if you’re in the south I hope you are finding ways to stay cool! It is miserable here! This past week was one of non stop tasks, but sometimes weeks are like that, even in the summer. We had a garage door repair, a dog grooming appointment, both boys well child checks, two hair appointments, and school uniform shopping (the uniform store both boy’s schools use do 10% off if you buy in June so we always try and hit that sale). We sprinkled in some beach walks, ice cream, and lots of reading time in between all these life tasks so it wasn’t all bad! This week we’re talking about the most fun social event I’ve been to in awhile and how easy it would be to replicate it, a movie recommendation our whole family enjoyed, the one thing I do every week to help our household run more smoothly, thoughts on tending things, and a super fun 4th of July dinner we’ve done twice now that you’re welcome to borrow!
**ONE**
Awhile ago I started seeing Instagram posts pop up about something called Silent Book Club, and I was immediately intrigued. One of my dear friends had attended a few times and posted about it, it just took me quite awhile for my schedule to allow me to check it out. This past month I was finally able to make it, and it was one of the greatest ideas I’ve seen implemented for building community in a way that works for both extroverts and introverts. Silent Book Club is hosted by a leadership team of 5 local women who reach out to coffee shops, bars, pubs, and other community spaces around Jacksonville and ask if they could use their space for a “meeting.” The one I was able to attend was at a local brewery on a Tuesday night. Gatherings last two hours and have a great structure to them which makes it such a comfortable event for anyone to attend even if they know no one and attend alone. The one I went to was from 6-8, and they communicate ahead of time the schedule of the evening. From 6-6:30 people are ordering a drink from the host establishment, finding a seat, and chatting with other readers at their table about whatever the conversation brings up (but because you’re at an event for reading talking about books is the easiest and most natural topic for even the most introverted person to participate in with strangers). From 6:30-7:30 is silent reading time. Everyone reads for an hour, and the hosts who lead the meeting tell you when to begin and end. And then from 7:30-8 people are wrapping it up, chatting about what they just read, settling their tab, finding out when the next gathering is etc. During that final half hour the hosts collect everyone’s books and take a “book stack” photo of all the books people were reading that evening which is always fun to see!
I loved this event so much, and the concept in general. I went with my friend but it was something I’d have been just fine attending alone if she hadn’t been available to go with me. We sat at a table with several other folks, all people who didn’t know one another, and it was absolutely delightful hearing the variety of interests there were in terms of what people read. I’m planning on attending another gathering tomorrow afternoon at a local coffee shop, and find myself so looking forward to it. I think people are hungry for face to face community these days. We know there are epidemics of loneliness everywhere, and while it would be easy to just read at home for an hour to get out and be amongst people who love to read and make some new connections was absolutely delightful. I know Silent Book Clubs exist in other cities, so maybe do a quick search and see if something like this is near you. I also know someone who created her own version of this event at her house. She told friends to come in comfy clothes and that there would be snacks and mingling until 7 but from 7-8 would be silent reading time followed by more mingling and snacking. Such a fun idea for an easy social gathering, I promise it’s the nerdiest two hours of fun you’ll ever have!
**TWO**
This weekend Chuck was scrolling through Netflix and came across a movie he hadn’t heard of, and thought it looked like one we might all enjoy, so we tried it and all four of us really liked it! It’s called Nonnas and it stars Vince Vaughn who is grieving the loss of his Italian grandmother (his Nonna) and his mother. He has no experience in the restaurant industry but he does believe everyone should get to experience authentic Italian cooking. So in his grief, to honor his mother and grandmother he opens a restaurant and hires Italian grandmothers to be the chefs. There are funny moments, sad moments, and ultimately it becomes a beautiful way for women later in life to show how useful and valuable they are. We all loved it and were delighted to find out it is based on a true story, and the restaurant it’s based on is still in existence today, still staffed by Italian grandmothers.
**THREE**
I know it’s a joke around the social media world that once you hit your 40s you either become a gardener, a bird watcher or you end up with a sourdough starter in your refrigerator. I remember the first time I heard this a few years ago and thought “no way, I’m not doing any of those things!” I still don’t have a sourdough starter and I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I did, and I don’t really know anything about birds, but dang it if I am not finding so much delight in tending my flowers right now! I grew up the daughter of a literal Master Gardener. Well really my mom was an ICU nurse when I was growing up but she grew to learn to love plants and gardening as she approached her late 30s and went and got a degree in horticulture and landscape design just for fun from our junior college and then received her Master Gardener certification when I was in middle school. By the time I was in college her gardens at our home in the Sacramento area were on the Sacramento Mothers Day home and garden tour. It was unbelievable the beauty my mom created out of a literal plot of dirt they bought when I was in 8th grade.
Fast forward years and now I am on my second house with a yard and for a long time she kept trying to help me figure out what to do with my flower beds. She’d plant some things and help weed and mulch and trim things, and every time she left town I would just let it go. Weeds took over, things died, nothing ever looked right and lasted. But I also put zero time and energy into it and had zero desire to do so. For years (two houses worth of time), I did the bare minimum to keep things from getting out of control but I put in almost no effort. I just didn’t care. I had resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to be a plant person and never have a nice looking yard. Until now. Back in February we had a company come in and completely re do our backyard. It’s not a big space but it was an absolute disaster. Half-dead trees needed to be removed, the patio drained towards the house and needed to be leveled out better, and everything back there was dead. Getting a fresh start and having professionals come in and do the heavy lifting was huge, we got a fresh start and I was able to not be quite so overwhelmed.
Now, I’m loving checking for weeds, deadheading the few flowers they put in that need to be tended in this way, and making sure the pots I have are watered. I love the way things are growing and filling in as the rainstorms and hot temperatures arrive for the summer. I was out checking my little tomato plant the other day for new buds and realized something. I think I’m loving the tending of these little plants because I finally am not in the full time non-stop care taking that having little kids in the house requires. Of course my boys still need me, but it’s in a different way than they did even a few years ago, and I find I have more physical bandwidth to be out checking on growing things, trying to keep everything alive and well. A few years ago I just didn’t have the energy to care. I think this is probably why the social media meme is kind of true—when our kids get older and need us in a different way (not less important but maybe less physical), we have that desire to continue tending, care taking and nurturing of small things that needs to go towards something different. Hence, the birds, the sourdough, the flowers, I’ve even found this joy in spending time with our puppy who is a lot more like a toddler than my kids are these days, I love tending to his needs (most of the time). I don’t have any desire to start over at the baby stage! But I do love looking for little things in my world that need some nurture and care to become beautiful.
**FOUR**
Every family has rhythms and routines that are unique to them; hopefully these things help lives run more smoothly. I have a few things in place that make a difference around here, but the number one thing I do that makes a huge difference for myself and I think for the people who live here is I sit down every weekend and write out the schedule/events/calendar stuff for the week ahead along with the meals I’m making for dinner that week. I post this on the fridge right above where everyone stops several times a day to refill water cups. We do have a digital calendar on the wall, but I’ve found no one in my house actually goes to look at it, they still just ask me what’s for dinner or what time their appointment is, so about a year ago I got an inexpensive weekly planning pad from Target and started posting it every Sunday. This one simple thing has made a huge difference in helping the people who live here know what’s going on that week without getting overwhelmed looking at a whole month of events. I keep everything in our Google calendar because that’s always with me on my phone, but I’ve found that the people who live here seem to do best in one week increments when it comes to planning stuff! I don’t know if coordinating schedules is an issue in your house, but this has drastically cut down on miscommunications, double bookings and the number of questions I have to answer in a day!
**FIVE**
The Fourth of July is coming! I’ll be honest, we don’t usually do anything super exciting for the 4th. We don’t go anywhere that day, it’s way too hot and crowded for us to want to go to the beach or anywhere else, so we often are home. In 2020 when we literally had no plans, Disney had just released the film of Hamilton for streaming and even though my kids were young we let them watch it because I’d been listening to the songs so much they already knew the music pretty well. We didn’t have anyone else to share the holiday with that year because of all the Covid restrictions but somehow the idea came to me to create a meal themed around Hamilton. The boys LOVED it. The following two years we were in Iowa with my sister’s family for the 4th but then a couple years ago we had friends visit for the holiday and we brought back the Hamilton dinner. The boys have already asked if we could do it again this year, so that’s our meal plan for next Saturday. What’s a Hamilton dinner you might ask? It’s honestly pretty normal 4th of July food! Just with fun titles! When we did this two years ago we had come up with enough food titles we did a lunch and a dinner. I printed these on sheets of paper in old calligraphy font to have on the tables and the kids loved it. Here were our menus, and if you don’t know the music from the show this probably won’t make a lot of sense to you!
Lunch: A. Ham-burgers, Satis-fries, Three Fundamental Fruits at the Exact Same Time, Monticello Mac and Cheese, Schuyler Sisters Side Salad, Guns and Chips and Lots and Lots of Dip
Dinner: Revolutionary Ribs, You’ll Be Back for More Broccoli Salad, Hercules Mulligan Mashed Potato Salad, The Story of Tonight Twirly Noodle Pasta Salad, Vine and Fig Tree Fruit Salad, and for dessert, Talk Less Smile S’Mores
We’re going to play with our menu for this year and see what we come up with, maybe expand our inspiration to include the musical 1776 this year since the boys just saw it, but I’ve found that even with teens things don’t have to require a ton of effort to be a little extra fun or special. Normal food with a fun name makes everything feel interesting again!
I hope you have a great week my friends and we’ll be back next week with 5 more things!
